Positive Statements To Your Child
The following are the encouraging statements in terms of general behavior used for your child:
· Positive statements are made to encourage the child to do the right thing. For example, “Turn the pages carefully,” child. Rather than saying “Don’t tear the page !” try and use less of the word “No”.
· Positive redirection is used to clarify when and where certain behavior is acceptable. i.e., “We will walk “instead of “No running inside!”
· Feelings are validated. Children are guided to socially acceptable means of articulating anger and frustration such as verbal expression, pounding a pillow, crying, etc. these are the acceptable means.
· The “deed” is separated from the “doer”. This relays the message that “I like you and accept you unconditionally. However, I do not like what you did.” The child needs to be explained this in a language which he / she understands.
· Good behavior that we want to see continuously is reinforced. Examples of positive reinforcers include a smile, sticker charts, expressing thank you. Other words of encouragement, example, “Let’s try it together.”
· Be very specific to what you are saying. Saying Good Job is good for the child but saying specifically “Today you kept the Lego blocks in the Lego Box and the other blocks in the other box”.
· Totally avoid comparison between siblings, other kids in the neighborhood, relative’s kids, etc, etc. You may think you’re being positive when you say “Thank goodness you like homework and I don’t have to shout at you the way I do your brother!” but you’re setting up a situation where the child is only good enough if his brother doesn't do homework, you have to deal in a different manner. Comparison is strictly prohibited.
· Give your child credit on time and limited power also. It's fine to tell your child that you're proud of him,
but be clear that he's the one who gets credit for the achievement and he's the one who's entitled to evaluate it. "You must be so proud of yourself today.
· Be an enthusiast. The whole keep telling your child the positive qualities he / she possess but don’t over do it.
These are just a few, more coming up soon.