GIVING THE BEST TO YOUR CHILD - THE MOST EXPENSIVE GIFT
All parents want to give the best to their child. But the problem lies “best” does not have a proper definition. So as to give the best, there should be certain guidelines –
· The best type of school they can afford according to their budget.
· The extracurricular activities which can be provided to the child, in this both budget and time investment is required.
· Proper nutritional food
· Discipline and care
· Spending quality time with your family. This can be playing with your child, cooking together, chit chatting with your child, doing some house chores together. We do not encourage watching TV together as a quality time because most of the time there is no conversation.
“The first thing for parents should give to their child is “Time” rest all comes secondary. Giving “Time” is
the most expensive gift you can gift your child. We will discuss its advantages in
Parents also worry whether they’re giving their child the perfect combination of left-brain and right-brain activity.
Here are 10 positive phrases you can say to family and friends who just don't seem to get your parenting.
1. "I appreciate how much you care about our kids, but I'm really happy with how me and my husband are doing it."
This response finds the common ground. Both of you care deeply about your children, and that's the main thing to acknowledge. It sets a limit and lets the other person know you are not looking for help and advice, but appreciate their intention.
2. "I've thought and read a lot about parenting and I'm really happy with what I've learned."
Parenting nowadays can look pretty different from how it was in previous generations, and elderly people usually want to stick to their parenting skills and differ to change their outlook. A relative or grand parents may make the mistaken assumption that you are doing it all wrong simply because it's not how they did it, or are doing it. This response lets them know you have made a thoughtful choice. Perhaps your confident response may even make them curious about what you have read, and why you decided it's the right way for you to parent.
3. "We've tried different methods, and this is what works best for us."
Everyone advices on parenting and everyone’s opinion differ. Let your friend or relative know that you aren't looking for advice, you've tried different styles of parenting and are content with what you're doing.
4. "We find that they're more responsive when we set limits gently."
Parenting always doesn’t mean screaming, shouting and punishing. If you are taking the more peaceful route, then you'll find that it's pretty common for parents to mistake gentle parenting with permissive parenting. Pointing out that you are setting limits, even if they look a little different, can be reassuring to a relative who thinks you are not in control.
5. "I've noticed that if we listen to the crying rather than distracting or ignoring them, then they let out their feelings and are less likely to be upset later."
Crying in a public is not considered healthy. A lot of people have a huge misunderstanding about crying. They think of it as a negative that needs to be stopped instead of as a healthy and healing way to express emotions. This is a simple way to tell them that there is a purpose in allowing feelings, and it's actually better in the long run for your family. A lot of negative feeling goes down with crying. It is always good to show your emotions rather than keeping inside.
6. "Every family is different, but this is what works best for us."
Parenting differences can be between husband and wife also. Everyone has a different perspective. Parenting differences can often bring up strong feelings between friends because one person may assume you are judging them and think that what they're doing is wrong. Acknowledging that every family is different is a peacemaker. It shows that choosing a different path doesn't mean you are judging other.
7. "Kids are so different. This is how my child responds best."
Everyone is the best expert on their family and what their children need. Nobody on the outside looking in can tell you how to parent. This phrase lets the other person know that what you are doing is based on what your understanding of what your child needs and ensures they won't need an explanation.
8. "Don't worry, I can handle this!"
If a friend or family member wants to step in and parent for you, this is a polite way of saying "no thanks."
This phrase gently lets them know they don't need to fix or solve the situation. It can be reassuring to them that despite the wild emotions of your child (or their challenging behaviour), that you are feeling calm and under control.
9. "Thanks for your advice. I'll give it some thought."
You are being polite and positive. This is a conversation closer. It lets the person know they've been heard and you aren't doing to do their way. You are not hardcore against their advice but you will do what you think is right. But it also ends the debate, so it's perfect to use with someone you know will never understand what you're doing.
10. "I have my parenting pattern which is different to how you were parented and how I was parented."
This is actually a slightly rude approach to start a conversation but at times it becomes necessary. But this statement can start a conversation.
Sharing stories about how you were parented can help the child understand the difference. The understanding of the parent and the child is enhanced.
It also gives the other person a chance to express how they feel about their own childhood, which can help them feel heard, and more relaxed and flexible in their attitude to how you are parenting.
In a nutshell, few parenting tips were shared. Every parent has his / her own style of parenting. Therefore contradicting it is not right.